SOS
by jennymay
Summary: Its the end of seventh year and the final balltle is soon. Does Harry have any reason to keep fighting? Or has he pushed everyone away?
1. Chapter One

He was used to the nightmares. He had them for most of his life, so why where these any different? Harry asked himself one night while sitting in front of the fireplace in the Gryffindor common room. Maybe because they where more real now, maybe because he knew time was running out, maybe it was because he knew that these nightmares could come to life. The Final battle was near. Harry stared intently at the fire he watched the flames play along the logs for a long time. He let out a sigh and ran his hands through his unruly inky black hair. What was he going to do? He knew his time was almost up; soon he would have to face his destiny. Soon he would have to become a murderer or be killed. He wouldn't admit it to anyone, but he was scared.

During the Christmas break of their sixth year Ron and Hermione had cornered him one night and they made Harry tell them what was wrong. Since the beginning of the school year they had noticed Harry was acting different. Harry decided it was as good a time as ever to tell them the truth, so he slowly began to tell them about the prophecy.

Ron didn't believe it; and still wouldn't. He went on about how much of a nut case Professor Trelawney is, that divination is a bunch of rubbish. Harry smiled slightly as he remembered how much Ron sounded like Hermione. At the thought of Hermione his smile faded.

She hadn't been the same since he told her about the prophecy. She cried that night, and did for a week after she found out. Now she doesn't cry, she doesn't show any emotion at all. Over the last two years of school she has drowned herself in books, saying she had to study for NEWTS. He thought Hermione had the right idea, and he began to study more.

Most nights Harry would be found in the library at one of the back tables sitting by himself. He would have books spread around him reading anything he could get him hands on. Most of the time he didn't know what he was reading about, but to him it was better to absorb information that may be helpful to him in the end than to think about what was going on around him. He also became very irritable, his emotions where out of control. The rest of the students at school learned very quickly to stay away from him, even Malfoy and his followers. Harry stopped playing quidditch, stopped going to Hogsmeade weekends, and stopped the DA after Christmas break in sixth year. No one seamed to notice that Harry was pulling away from everyone. He hardly ever talked to anyone, and if he did he usually ended up yelling at the unlucky person. He hated what he had become, and wished he could take most of his behavior back. But he knew it was to late. The one time in his life that he truly needed someone to help, and he didn't have anyone. He had pushed them all away.

Harry was about to go back to his dormitory and try to get a few more hours of sleep when a noise stopped him. He pulled out his wand and began slowly searching the common room. He heard the noise again and turned to the staircase to see Hermione staring wide eyes at him. "You scared me," he said lowering his wand.

"Sorry." she said softly and walked down the rest of the stairs. "I couldn't sleep so I though I could get some more studying done." She said holding up a large potions book.

"I was just going to go back to bed." Harry said looking at her. She hadn't been sleeping well. Over the last few months he had noticed the large dark bags that had taken permanent residence under her eyes.

"Oh." Hermione said looking down at the floor. Harry heard the disappointment in her voice.

"Hermione?" She looked up at him. He was tired as well; it must have been another nightmare. Ron had told her at the beginning of the year his nightmares had been getting worse. "I can stay down here a while longer if you want some company."

"No it's okay, Harry." she said softly.

"You look tired, you should try to get some more sleep." Harry dropped back down on the couch. "I probably won't get back to sleep, and if I do..." he said not finishing his sentence. There wasn't any point. She wouldn't care.

"Are they bad?" She asked sitting down on the couch next to him.

"It doesn't matter."

"Yes it does, Harry. I've been worried about you."

"You sure have a funny way of showing it." He said sarcastically. Hermione closed her eyes. Harry could see that the last comment had hurt her, but he didn't care. She was always the one person who was there for him, and she hadn't been lately. She hadn't notice his silent pleads for her help.

"What would you have done if I had showed that I was worried about you, Harry? Yelled at me like you have to everyone else?" She said standing up from the couch and glaring down at him. "You made Ginny cry yesterday. All she wanted to know is if you where going to be coming to The Burrow after graduation."

Harry glared back at her. "Then she should have just asked, and not started asking me about why I wasn't playing quidditch."

"She just wants to help, Harry." she said folding her arms across her chest.

"Well, maybe I don't want her help! Maybe the one person I've wanted help from has pretty much ignored me since last year." He said staring directly into her brown eyes. Hermione's eyes grew wide, and began to fill with tears.

"Me?" she asked. "You've wanted me to help you?"

"Why do you think I've been spending so much time in the library? I've been hoping you would see me sitting there and talk to me, ask if I needed help, or just once sit down at the same table with me. But I've gotten nothing from you. You started acting I wasn't even alive anymore. You just buried yourself in your bloody books." He said racking his hands through his hair, realizing if he kept shouting like this the whole house of Gryffindor would wake up soon. "Maybe if you took your nose out of the books you would have noticed that I needed you. Do you even know that I am not playing quidditch anymore? I stopped going to my occulmancy lessons too. What about the DA? Did you even care that I stopped it? I could of shot a flare in the air that said 'I need your help' and your wouldn't have noticed." Tears were falling heavily down Hermione's face.

" I did notice." She said. "When you stopped the DA I was furious. I stormed into Dumbledore's office hoping he would get you to start it again, but he didn't. He said that it was to much pressure for you and you had more important things to concentrate on." She said taking a seat back down on the couch. "I knew about quidditch too. I was shocked that you quit the team right before the match against Slytherin. I don't know why you did, but it was probably the stupidest thing you have done Harry. You love that game."

"Things change, Hermione. Why doesn't anyone realize this?" Harry said looking back at the flames in the fire.

"You're right, you did change." Harry's head snapped up and looked at Hermione. "Don't give me that look, Harry. You know you have. So have I, it's a part of life." she said and placed her hand gently on his arm. " I didn't know you stopped your lessons with Snape either."

"They don't work. Nothing he has taught me has. Voldemort still breaks into my mind."

"Then we will find another way."

"It doesn't matter anymore," he said softly looking up at her. "My time here is almost up."

"Don't say that." She said tightening her grip on his arm. "You still have your whole life ahead of you."

"You heard the prophecy, Hermione. You know what I have to do."

"I know Harry," she said as she rubbed her thumb over his skin. "You are going to defeat him, then you can live in peace."

Harry pulled his arm away from her. "Damn it, Hermione" he yelled. "There is no point! I have nothing to live for. I have no one, and the people I care for don't give a bloody hell what I do anymore. I've pushed everyone away. I'm all alone!"

"Harry James Potter!" Hermione yelled at him. "Are you really that stupid! Do you think that no one cares for you?"

"Why should they?" He yelled back.

"I don't understand you Harry!" Hermione yelled jumping up from the couch and began pacing in front of him, "Just a minute ago you wanted my help, and now you are trying to push me away again! Let me help you! I want to be with you in the end, I will be with you at the end."

"No you won't." he said. His green eyes watching her move back and forth across the room. "I need to have all my attention on Voldemort, I can't be out there worrying about you." "I will be fine Harry. I can protect myself."

"No."

"There is no point in telling me what to do. I will do what I want, and what I want to do is be there for you when you need someone. You will need someone with you Harry and whether you like it or not it will be me."

"This is for me to do, Hermione. I am the chosen one, not you. This is my fight, if I want to or not I have to do this." Harry said and stood up from the couch and walked to the stairs. He turned around to see Hermione staring at the fire. "I can't lose you." He said softly and turned and walked back up to the boys' dormitory.


	2. Chapter two

Harry had not talked to Hermione in several days. The nightmares had become violently worse, to where some nights Harry would not even bother to go to sleep, he would stay down in the common room all night. He began to write, he didn't know why but he felt better. Most nights he would sit at one of the tables closest to the fire and fill up pages of parchment. School would be out in just a few short weeks, NEWTS were next week, but Harry did not care. He knew that before NEWTS he would have the final meeting with Voldemort.

At the thought of the final battle he began to scribble faster on the parchment in front of him. He knew most of what he was writing didn't make any sense; most of it were random thoughts. Harry stopped writing and looked down at the parchment. He reread what he had just written, and realized he was writing to Hermione. He was putting all his repressed emotions down on paper, he wanted someone to know what he was feeling, he wanted Hermione to understand how he was feeling.

Harry began to write again. His quill was now flying across the parchment as he began to tell her everything. He began with what had happened to him when he was a child living with the Durlsey's. He had never told anyone in detail about the years of abuse he had to suffer. Harry stopped when he began to tell Hermione about the first time he had gotten his letter from Hogwarts, he reread the pages about his childhood and for the first time he felt relieved to have it all out.

Harry's scar began to prickle. He reached up and could feel the heat coming from it. He would have to leave soon. He didn't know where he was going, or if he would ever come back, but he did know that he had to tell Hermione everything, he did not want to leave this world without telling her. He began to write faster, only stopping to dip his quill in some ink or to get a new piece of parchment.

The sun was beginning to rise. He knew Hermione would be down soon, she was putting in a few hours before classes to study more. Harry was almost done, then it was time for him to leave school, it was time for him to fulfill his destiny. He began writing about their confrontation a few nights before. He began to apologize for his behavior over the last few years at school, he told her he wished he could take it all back and do it again. He told her he would not have pushed her away, that he realized now how much he needed her. He knew he needed to leave; the pain from his scar was becoming more intense.

Voldemort was calling him. This time Harry was not going to ignore him; he was going to put an end to the war. He was ready to fight, he told Hermione he was, he told her he was fighting for her, so she would never have to deal with so much pain and ridicule again, he said he was doing it all for her. That everything he did was for her. Harry's head snapped up when he portrait door opened and Remus stepped in.

"It's time Harry." He said. "

I know, just give me a few more minutes." He said and began writing again. He wrote for several more minutes before he looked up at Remus. He was scared, he could see it in his eyes, but Harry wasn't. He knew that if he didn't make it back someone would know everything. He looked back down at the parchment; there was only one more thing that needed to be done.

He began to write:

_Hermione there is just one more thing that you need to know before I go. This is something that I have never told anyone, nor have I ever heard it. I don't know when I started to feel this way towards you, but I think it was always there. I didn't realize what this feeling was until tonight. From the moment you walked into the train compartment looking for Trevor I felt something. I love you Hermione Jane Granger, and always have and I always will. Maybe it's not fair of me to tell you this when I may never see you again, but you need to know. I love everything about you. _

_To me you are perfect. You are the most beautiful person I have ever known. I know you are going to hate me for leaving you, but this is my fight Hermione. Even if you are not by my side during the battle, you are in my heart. You are my conscious. It is always your voice I hear telling me what to do and not to do. I am sorry that I have to leave like this, but I do not think I could tell you good-bye to your beautiful face. I could not stand to see your eye fill with tears and to see the pain that I have caused you when I leave. If it is possible I will come back to you. You are the only reason I have to come back, and I will try my hardest to. I love you with all my heart and soul. _

_Yours Forever, Harry James Patter._

Harry could feel the tears fight to come, but he pushed them back. He placed the large stack of parchment in the middle of the table, placed a sealing charm on it and left Hermione's name on it. He walked quickly to where Remus was standing and without a word the two men left.

It had been three months since Harry had left. There had been no word about the battle, all they knew was it was still going on. No one knew if Harry was alive still, but Hermione knew. She knew deep down in her heart that Harry would return to her. Hermione was now living at Grimmauld Place spending her says helping the Order any way she could, but mostly she worried about Harry.

The morning that Harry had left she woke up with a odd feeling, she didn't understand it until she went down to the common room and saw the stack of parchment Harry had left her. As soon as she saw it she knew he was gone. She grabbed the stack and ran out of the room and kept running all the way to Dumbledore's office. She stormed into the headmaster's office and demanded to know where Harry was. The old man would not tell. Hermione began to yell at him and began throwing things at him. The whole time Dumbledore sat quietly at his desk and let her vent. After exhausting herself Hermione slumped to the floor and began to cry. She didn't remember what happened next but when she woke up she was at Grimmauld place sleeping in the bed Harry had used, Sirius's old bedroom.

For a week Hermione did not leave the room. A tray of food was brought up three times a day but she rarely ate it. After that week she would only leave her room to ask if there was any news about Harry, there never was. She soon remembered about the stack of parchment Harry had left her. The first time she read it she cried the whole time.

When she read the last few paragraphs she began to cry even more. Never in her life did she think he would feel the same way she had. She knew then that he would come back, he had to. Every night before bed she would read his words, and she would always find something new about him that made her love him even more.

Three months had passed slowly and Hermione was beginning to get restless, she needed to know where he was, she needed to see him. She knew the rest of the Order knew where he was, but would not tell .It would be impossible to stop her from going after him. Hermione was sitting in the kitchen with Ron and Ginny having lunch when they heard people shouting. Hermione jumped up from her stop and ran towards the noise.

A lot of people had begun entering the house, many she had never seen before. They where all tired and dirty. They where home from the war. She tried to ask several of them what was going on, but no one answered. She asked if they had seen Harry, again no one said a word. She began to push through the people hoping to see someone she knew. Finally she spotted Tonks and Remus, she ran over to them and asked about Harry. Remus smiled at her and told her he had not seen him for several weeks, but he did fulfill his destiny. Harry had defeated the Dark Lord. Hermione smiled weakly at the two and told them she was happy to see them, but she needed to go see if anyone had word about Harry.

It had been three days since the war and still no Harry. She talked to one wizard who saw him days before the last day of the war, but he did not know anything else. She was starting to worry that Harry would not be coming back to her, and again she closed herself in his bedroom. Later that night there was a knock at the door. She ignored it, but it would not stop. She yelled at them to go way, but still they would not go. She finally got off the bed and stomped over to the door and pulled it open. She was fully prepared to hex this person; she raised her wand to the person's face and stopped. He was back.

Hermione let out a cry and threw her body to his. Harry staggered a little but held on to her tightly. The two help each other for a long time before Harry began to pull away. Hermione tightened her grip on him, she was scared to let him go.

"Hermione I need to sit down." He said hoarsely. Hermione let go of him and lead him over to his bed. She grabbed on to his hand tightly and sat next to him.

"It's over." He said staring absently at the wall in front of them

"I knew you would come back."

"Sorry I left like I did."

"Shhh." she said. "We can talk about that later. You need some rest."

"So do you." He said laying back on the bed and pulling her next to him. Hermione snuggled close to him and wrapped her arms carefully around him.

"You aren't hurt badly are you?"

"I should be just fine in a few days, I have to let Madame Pomfrey look me over tomorrow."

"You haven't seen her yet? Harry you really should."

"There was someone more important I had to see first." He said softly and drifted into peaceful, dreamless sleep.

The End

A/N: I just want to thank my new beta You are awesome And thank everyone for the reviews! This fic. was inspired by the Good Charlotte song S.O.S

Is anybody listening?  
Can they hear me when I call?  
I'm shooting signals in the air  
'Cause I need somebody's help  
I can't make it on my own  
So I'm giving up myself  
Is anybody listening?  
Listening

I've been stranded here and I'm miles away  
Making signals hoping they'd save me  
I lock myself inside these walls  
'Cause out there I'm always wrong  
I don't think I'm gonna make itSo while I'm sitting here  
On the eve of my defeat  
I'll write this letter and hope it saves me

Is anybody listening?  
Can they hear me when I call?Shooting signals in the air  
'Cause I need somebody's help  
I can't make it on my own  
So I'm giving up myself  
Is anybody listening? Listening  
I'm stuck in my own head and I'm oceans away

Would anybody notice if I chose to stay?  
I'll send an SOS tonight  
Wonder if I will survive  
How in the hell did I get so far away this time  
So now I'm sitting here  
The time of my departure's nearI say a prayer  
Please someone save me

Is anybody listening?  
Can they hear me when I call?

Shooting signals in the air  
'Cause I need somebody's help  
I can't make it on my own  
So I'm giving up myself  
Is anybody listening?  
Listening  
I'm lost here

I can't make it on my own  
I don't wanna die alone  
I'm so scared  
Drowning now  
Reaching out  
Holding on to everything I know  
Crying out  
Dying now  
Need some help

Is anybody listening?  
Can you hear me when I call?  
Shooting signals in the air  
I need somebody's help  
I can't make it on my own

So I'm giving up myself  
Is anybody listening?


End file.
